Jason Teague Presumed Dead
Sheriff: Next to No Hope Missing Coach is Alive

Central Kansas A&M sophomore and former SHS football coach Jason Teague is missing and presumed dead, according to Lowell County Sheriff Nancy Adams.

Teague was last seen buying a quadruple latte and some English breakfast tea yesterday morning at the Talon coffeehouse in downtown Smallville. Teague reportedly frequented the establishment, which until recently was managed by SHS senior Lana Lang, who also lives in the upstairs apartment.

Teague moved to Smallville from Paris late last summer and was hired to assist Head Coach Wayne Quigley with the Crows football team. Teague had been the starting Quarterback for the Metropolis University Bulldogs before his career was ended by a freak injury.

Quigley was forced to fire Teague this fall when school officials learned of Teague's relationship with Lang. Quigley has since publicly regretted the firing, saying "Jason was a large part of why we won the State Championship this season. He's an upstanding guy, and (Lang) was not even a minor when they began their relationship. There were some politics involved, let's just say."

Sheriff's Department officials retrieved Teague's wallet after a fisherman found it in the Elbow River. Sheriff Adams was unwilling to discuss details of the situation, but she strongly advised townspeople not to get their hopes up. "Usually we would insist on calling the operation a search-and-rescue at this point, but I'm not going to string Jason's family and friends along for no good reason. We've got next to no hope that we will recover Mr. Teague alive."

Teague was the son of famed international attorney Edward Teague. His mother, Genevieve Teague, is one of the country's most active philanthropists, with a particular interest in the preservation of ancient artifacts.