LIONEL LUTHOR ARRESTED FOR MURDER

By Frank Moore

In a completely unexpected turn of events, FBI special agents arrested LuthorCorp CEO Lionel Luthor this week, charging him with first-degree murder. Even more shocking was the identity of his alleged victims: Lachlan and Eliza Luthor--his own parents.

The elder Luthors perished decades ago in a tragic tenement fire in the "Suicide Slum" area of Metropolis. While arson had been suspected, previous police inquiries turned up no solid clues pointing to foul play.

Now, however, federal prosecutors believe they have enough evidence to bring a case against the famed titan of industry, although they declined to provide reporters with details about what, if anything, links Lionel to the heinous crime. "We have no plans to try this in the media," said a government spokesman. "We'll save it for the jury."

But Luthor's director of public relations said he doubted this would ever get to trial. "These are preposterous accusations motivated by personal vendettas against Mr. Luthor," Mitchell Taylor stated. "Besides, Lionel was just a teenager at the time of the fire. A child would have to be incredibly twisted, perhaps even psychotic, to murder his own family. As anyone can attest, Lionel Luthor is none of those things."

Indeed, sources within the FBI's Kansas field office confirmed that the crux of the investigation rests on claims that young Lionel hired would-be crime boss Morgan Edge to actually carry out the murders, supposedly so Lionel could inherit his parents' life insurance money.

A notorious figure in the Metropolis criminal underworld, Edge was said to have died last year following a mysterious, still unexplained explosion in Smallville. "It's unfortunate that law enforcement officials were never able to make charges stick against Edge while he was alive," Taylor said, "but they shouldn't take their frustrations out on an innocent man like Lionel Luthor."

At press time, Luthor was being held at the Metropolis Federal Detention Center while awaiting a bail hearing. Few local observers doubt it will be long before Luthor is set free to mount the kind of vigorous defense only he is capable of.

TALON OWNER
FOUND MURDERED

Mystery Shrouds Death

By Kathy Romita

The body of Metropolis businessman Wendall Kerns was found in an abandoned barn near the Elbow River this morning. The Burrito Olé restaurant chain owner, who purchased The Talon movie theater and coffeehouse from Lex Luthor last week, had been reported missing for over 48 hours when an unknown caller found two bodies wrapped in plastic and summoned authorities. Sheriff Adams quickly arrived at the scene. The other body has not yet been identified.

"Metropolis P.D. issued a missing person's report on Mr. Kerns the day before yesterday," said Adams. "The department contacted me because he [Kerns] was supposed to be in Smallville. I investigated, but no one in town saw him."

Lowell County Coroner Lexington O'Connor was called to the scene and examined the remains. Kerns reportedly had a deep, wide stab wound to the chest. O'Connor stated, "The victim was not killed at this location. He was stabbed somewhere else and then hidden here. I have never seen a wound of this kind before. I can't figure out how a weapon that wide penetrated the chest cavity."

But Sheriff Adams admits a new twist has been added to the tale. In a press conference, Adams read the following statement, "Over the last few days, ever since Mr. Kerns went missing, a teenager now identified as Emily Dinsmore, formerly of Smallville, was running The Talon coffee shop. The young woman was managing the establishment exactly as former co-owner/manager Lana Lang did--with the same vendors, drinks, everything. The abandoned property where the victims were found was the childhood home of...Miss Emily Dinsmore." The teen has been taken into custody and sent to Belle Reve for evaluation.

Added Adams, "But the story doesn't end there. Seven years ago, 10-year-old Emily Dinsmore drowned in the river. Curiouser and curiouser."

Late Friday afternoon, as most Smallville Ledger staffers were neatening their desks and looking forward to catching the double feature of Citizen Kane and Sweet Smell of Success at The Talon, word spread swiftly through the newsroom that a sizable bid has been made for the venerable newspaper and its historic building.

Contrary to the usual trend of large media conglomerates swallowing up smaller outfits, the Ledger's suitor is described as a "lone investor with numerous holdings in a variety of industries."

As staffers huddled nervously in common areas and cubicles on Monday morning, the Ledger's current owner, Mary Lee Tasceina, who has shepherded the publication since 1988, made a rare appearance on the premises in an attempt to calm fears.

"It is impossible to predict at this point what the ramifications will be for the future of this newspaper," stated Tasceina, "but there is no reason to assume the worst. I assure you we will not hand over the reins of this respected Smallville institution to just anyone."

But optimism was in much shorter supply among the staff. "Guess it's time to polish up the old résumé," sighed one longtime columnist. "Let's face it, this time next week we could all be looking at pink slips."

Ironically, the Ledger was just gearing up for its 150th anniversary celebration when the potential buyout was revealed. Early town records show that abolitionist Silas Kent, whose descendents still reside in the area, founded The Lawrence Ledger upon his arrival in Kansas in 1854.

In the early 20th century, the paper took on its present-day identity as The Smallville Ledger. Then, heralding a new millennium, the Ledger launched an online component in 2001, transferring several of its journalists, including Angie Perez, Gena McGuiness, Chris Beppo, Kathy Romita and George Talmer, to the fledgling web-based arm, which has consistently recorded significant year-to-year gains in readership.

Another staffer summed up the general mood in the newsroom: "Will there be some disappointed readers out there if this thing goes under? Possibly. Probably. But hearts will be just as heavy here on the front lines, where we've given the past few years of our lives--and a hell of a lot of love--to this job. It's hard not to be sad contemplating the end of an era."

Here is this week's entry from the Ezra Small Project. Further information may be found in the Ezra Small House section of http://www.smallville.net.

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SHERIFF ADAMS WINS GOLF TOURNEY

By Kathy Romita

It's not enough for Sheriff Nancy Adams to be the top law enforcement officer in Lowell County. She just added a new title to her list of accomplishments--best golfer. Last Saturday, Adams played in a fund-raising event that benefited the WWOCLEF (Widows, Widowers and Orphaned Children of Law Enforcement Fund) and beat the competition.

Each county in the Sunflower State holds a special 18-hole golf tournament every year to raise funds for the families of fallen county law enforcement members. Last year Adams won the Siegel County tournament.
Sheriff Adams stated, "I don't know what's more fun, watching the guys' faces after I sink a putt or handcuffing bad guys. I love hitting the links--pitching and chipping. I get a lot of my frustration out on those little dimpled balls. And the crime in Smallville can cause me lots of frustration I tell you."

Adams ended the day with a 79 (with an 11 handicap). The tournament was held at a par 71 course with a slope of 117 and a rating of 71.4.