LIONEL LUTHOR KIDNAPPED, RECOVERED SAFELY
Limo Company Investigated For Lax Security

By Christopher James Beppo

In a strange and as-yet-unexplained series of events, Lionel Luthor was abducted while en route from Smallville to his Metropolis offices and just as quickly rescued by his son, Lex. A Kawatche radical is in custody pending formal charges of kidnapping, assault and unlawful imprisonment.

Although sheriff's deputies are still sifting through clues and attempting to penetrate the inevitable public-relations blackout imposed by the Luthor family, it appears that Lionel Luthor's limousine stopped abruptly near exit 47 of Highway 17. At that location, the driver, Jeremiah Holdsclaw, a teaching assistant at Kansas A&M University and frequent Kawatche protestor, allegedly grabbed Luthor and transported him to a deserted region of Burnham Woods.

No ransom was officially demanded, and authorities were not alerted until after Lex Luthor tracked his father down and apparently single-handedly defeated Holdsclaw to save the elder Luthor. Remnants of some sort of Native American ritual were found at the scene, as was evidence of a very violent struggle. Exact details of Lex Luthor's involvement were not disclosed, and there is no record of either Luthor receiving medical care at any area hospital.

In a statement, Holdsclaw's mentor, Professor Joseph Willowbrook, expressed his regret over the incident. "The Kawatche people are saddened by the trauma inflicted upon the Luthor family. While we have had our differences with the Luthors in the past, we hope that the actions of one overzealous member of our community will not reflect negatively on the Kawatches as a whole. At the same time, we support and sympathize with our brother Jeremiah and look forward to the Lowell County judicial system dealing with him in a fair, swift and impartial manner."

Meanwhile, the Smallville Trip Service (STS) limousine company has come under scrutiny following this second high-profile security lapse in as many weeks. As reported in the Ledger last week, exonerated millionaire Donavan Jamison disappeared shortly after getting into an STS town car outside Lowell County Courthouse. The company's screening process is now being examined by county commissioners, given the ease with which Holdsclaw apparently gained access to Luthor.

Here is this week's entry from the Ezra Small Project. Further information may be found in the Ezra Small House section of http://www.smallville.net.

09, 07 02 10 ' 15, 19 10 02 24, 24 18 02, 08 02 22, 13 03 04. 01 22 06 15, 13, 17 03 09 04 10 07, 17 03 02 20, 13 10 02 15 18 04 03, 06 15 13 03. 08 02 22, 14 13 10, 06 04 04, 03 09 11 18 15, 15 18 03 02 22 11 18, 20 04. 1:i, 1:ii, 1:iii, 5:i, 3:iii, 1:i, 3:i, 17:ii, 2:ii, 12:i, 7:i, 1:i, 1:ii, 1:iii, 7:i, 12:i, 1:ii, 2:i, 1:i, 1:ii, 1:iii, 3:ii, 21:i, 3:v, 21:vi, 3:i, 2:ii, 12:i, 1:i, 9:i, 1:iii, 3:i, 1:i, 1:ii, 1:iii, 17:ii, 3:iii, 3:iv, 3:v, 12:i, 1:ii, 2:ii, 21:i, 3:v, 3:iii, 2:i, 17:ii, 3:iii, 3:i, 38:x, 3:ii, 3:v, 3:iii, 3:i, 12:i, 3:v, 21:vi, 21:vi, 2:iii, 2:ii, 3:v, 21:vi, 3:iii, 17:ii, 3:v, 3:iii, 21:i, 1:ii, 4:i, 1:i, 1:ii, 1:iii.

REBECCA JONES NAMED WOMAN OF THE YEAR

By George "The Streak" Talmer

Blow whistle, send boss to court, collect award. That's the story of Rebecca Jones, who was lauded by the Smallville Women's Club as their 38th Woman of the Year.

Jones gained national notoriety earlier this year when she tipped off federal investigators about her boss, Donavan Jamison, and his illegal dealings with the Republic of Vlatava.

Jamison was indicted soon after Jones contacted authorities. The resulting charges led the Nu-Corp Energy Board of Directors to vote Jamison out of his position as CEO. Jamison had propelled Nu-Corp into one of the leading moneymaking firms in the world prior to his indictment.

Jones accepted a position as Jamison's assistant immediately after she graduated from the Wharton School of Business. Since blowing the whistle on Jamison, Jones has been promoted to Nu-Corp Vice President of Operations.

"She's just so courageous," noted Sally Witherspoon, president of the Smallville Women's Club. "It takes a special woman to risk her career in order to do what's right. Rebecca did that, and her resulting promotion shows that good things can come to women who take a stand." To read more about the Donovan Jamison and Rebecca Jones story, click here.

TALON SOLD TO BURRITO BAR

By Frank Moore

Smallville residents will soon be able to replace their morning muffins with breakfast burritos when a taste of old Mexico--via Metropolis--arrives to spice up the town's culinary scene. Real estate records indicate that Lex Luthor has just sold The Talon coffeehouse on Main Street to the Burrito Olé chain of eateries.

The terms of the deal were not disclosed, and neither Luthor nor Burrito Olé owner Wendell Kerns were available for comment. However, a local realtor confirmed the sale, which will lead to yet another transformation of the historic property.

Opened in 1939, The Talon was originally Smallville's premier movie theater, an elegant establishment that served cinephiles for over 60 years before disrepair and increased competition from modern multiplexes forced its closure.

LexCorp purchased the building two years ago from then-owner Nell Potter with the aim of tearing it down to put up a parking structure. But in a shrewd last-minute business decision, Lex decided to renovate instead, recreating The Talon as a trendy, upscale cafe.

With Luthor's guidance, manager and part-owner Lana Lang--Potter's niece--was able to turn The Talon into a hot spot for young latte lovers and espresso enthusiasts. It even played host to occasional music performances, including a highly successful charity concert last year featuring British rockers Steadman, which benefited the Smallville Food Bank.

But despite the business' apparent popularity, sources said, Luthor had never managed to turn a real profit with The Talon. In addition, corporate records show that Lang, a Smallville High junior scheduled to spend next year abroad, had recently sold her share of the place back to Lex, leaving the café without a day-to-day overseer.

Although LuthorCorp took control of most of LexCorp's holdings last year, a spokesman for Lionel Luthor emphasized that The Talon's precarious finances were solely Lex's responsibility. "Rest assured that Lionel Luthor has far more weightier concerns than anything going on in a coffee shop in Smallville," said Mitchell Taylor, LuthorCorp's director of public relations.

FEDERAL JUDGESHIP MAY BE IN ROSS' FUTURE

By Shelby Taylor

Lowell County Judge Abigail Ross is in Washington D.C. for Senate confirmation hearings on her federal judgeship nomination to the U.S. District Court for the District of Kansas. Ross grew up in Metropolis and graduated from South High School in 1973. She went on to attend Brown University and then got her law degree from the University of Kansas.

Known for her devotion to fairness and her exemplary record, Ross is expected to easily gain U.S. Senate approval. If confirmed, she will serve at the U.S. District Court in Wichita, Kansas.
Upon confirmation, federal judges may hold office for life, subject to removal only by impeachment. Under the Constitution, life tenure was intended to ensure an independent federal judiciary, free from political influence or other tendencies to corruption.