LEX LOONEY?
Exclusive photos obtained from an anonymous source

By Christopher James Beppo

Smallville is still reeling from the news that Lex Luthor has been committed to Belle Reve Sanitarium for an unspecified amount of time. LuthorCorp representatives, including Lionel Luthor himself, continue to withhold the exact reasons for this drastic measure, but speculation is rife that Luthor's harrowing plane crash, followed by his desert island trauma and the loss of his wife, finally contributed to the young businessman's massive emotional breakdown.

Whatever the cause, Luthor now becomes the latest resident of the slick, corporate-looking eyesore known as Belle Reve. The once secretive institution houses some of the country's most hopeless, forgotten souls, and despite efforts to modernize its image in recent years, Belle Reve remains an imposing monument to a less enlightened time. As part of an intensive public relations campaign undertaken immediately after Luthor's incarceration, journalists were allowed behind the high-security walls of the asylum for the first time. Following is my account of the disquieting, gray morning when I visited Belle Reve at the request of my editor.

As I approach the asylum's impenetrable iron gates, I imagine its white-coated founding fathers chuckling at their cruelly ironic name: Belle Reve. Beautiful Dream. My guide into the abyss is one Wendell Connelly, a longtime Belle Reve orderly whose hunched, wary gait and emotionless face speak volumes about the depths of inhumanity he must have witnessed since he began working at the institution in 1992. We pass harried doctors and nurses with clipboards as our footfalls echo in the sparkling, antiseptic corridor leading to the staff lounge. We're not close enough to the inmates' doors to peer through the thick observation windows, but the padded, white walls inside are plainly visible--and the low, animalistic moans from some of the cells are impossible to ignore. Prominently placed cameras watch our every move.

"I guess you want me to tell you all about the history of the place," exhales Connelly as we settle into the molded plastic seats of the sanitarium's stark break room. Even in here, with the aroma of years of cigarette smoke and cafeteria food still hanging in the air, the unmistakable hospital scent of ammonia pervades. "That's the first thing everybody always wants to know. Are there any famous criminals here? Did you ever have to kill a guy who went psycho? Do they really shock people's brains? Well, I'll take you around to some of the rooms and stuff, but I'm not much for storytelling, I'll tell you that right off the bat."

Fortunately, I don't need Connelly's historical insights. Belle Reve's client list is accessible to anyone with a computer, and it reads like a who's who of modern-day malefactors: Ray Hamilton, dubbed the Manhunter by the media... Hector Hammond, who claimed to be immortal... Duncan Pramble, who insisted on being referred to as Mister Voodoo...society's most contemptible dregs have walked the same white halls we have just traversed.

"I will tell you they're getting younger all the time," continues Connelly, now leading me past an empty, plainly appointed weight room near the humming generator room in the bowels of the building. "We get 'em from all over Kansas, all types. We had a guy swore he could split himself in two. Some nutjob who got struck by lightning and started throwing cars around. And your regular, garden-variety killers and maniacs. You name it. In a few weeks, Mr. Bigshot Luthor will be just another face in the crowd."

We cross through the sterile, cheerless rec room, where dull-eyed patients sit blankly watching incongruously violent 1950s cartoons. Here, I get my first chance to observe Belle Reve's unfortunate guests up close. Never did I imagine that the disconcerting world so vividly portrayed in the motion picture "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" could still exist today.
A motley collection of heavily sedated patients in robes and slippers shuffles back and forth from the couches to the dispensary window for the day's ration of happy pills. But these ill-fated folks look anything but contented as they obediently open their mouths to prove they've swallowed. In the middle of the room, a wild-haired boy mindlessly twirls around, mouth agape and dead eyes cast skyward.

I ask Connelly if we can visit one of the cells, but I'm told the rest of the facility is off limits to reporters. "Ain't much to see in the cells anyway, just a cot and a toilet. Just like in the movies." I then hesitantly inquire if the procedure rooms are just like in the movies, hoping to draw something, anything, from my reticent host.

"Mister, you don't wanna know what happens in the exam rooms, okay? Trust me, the M.D.s know what they're doing. We just cart the patients in and clean up afterwards. Best not to ask too many questions--you learn that pretty quick around here."

My macabre tour of Belle Reve Sanitarium is mercifully short, unlike Lex Luthor's probable term. Somberly returning to the warm, familiar sights of Smallville, I consider the obvious lesson of the day. As easy as it may be for us to avert our eyes from the gleaming edifice by the side of the highway, it is much harder to turn away from the fact that even the most wealthy and powerful among us may someday find themselves spinning aimlessly in the center of a lonely white room, drugged beyond comprehension and left behind by everyone who once cared for them.

HOLIDAY CHEER
LIGHTS UP SMALLVILLE
By Kathy Romita

When it comes to the holiday season, Smallville does it right. The Friday after next, the town officially kicks off its month-long festivities with the annual tree-lighting ceremony in Smallville Park located near City Hall. Ms. Adam's third-grade class will sing carols prior to the big moment. And this year, Sheriff Nancy Adams will do the honors of flipping the switch to light the magnificent tree decorated with thousands of lights and hundreds of ornaments--some of them handmade by Smallville Retirement Center residents.

The annual Festival of Gingerbread opens next Saturday morning at the History Museum. The scent of gingerbread wafts through the air as onlookers view incredible miniature buildings made only from edible products. Frosting and candy decorate the whimsical gingerbread creations.

Children can share Breakfast with Santa in the Smallville Community Center the Saturday immediately following Thanksgiving. They are encouraged to bring their letters and toy list to the jolly old elf. Admission is one canned item that will be donated to Mobile Meals.

The Feed Barn will sponsor a Santa's Pets photo opportunity for visitors to bring their furry friends to have their pictures taken with Santa. This event takes place the first two Saturdays in December. A $3 donation goes to the local animal shelter. Please, do not bring any exotic animals. Pigs are welcome.

And, finally, the Festival of Dollhouses will exhibit miniature dollhouses and room boxes at the Chamber of Commerce. Mini-imaginations, the local miniature club, will be recruiting new members at this event. Prizes will be awarded for the following categories: Best Diorama, Best House, Best Use of Holiday Theme (any holiday) and Best in Show.

The Ladies Auxiliary will be collecting gently used items, especially toys, and nonperishable food products for distribution to the less fortunate in our community. Drop-off boxes are now available at local businesses as well as city and county buildings.

TATE PINS MURDER
ON LIONEL LUTHOR'S FATHER
By Frank Moore

The twisted tale of William Tate took another unexpected turn this week when the disgraced former mayor of Smallville accused Lionel Luthor's late father of the vicious 40-year-old murder that led to the veteran politician's recent downfall.

Tate, currently free on $1 million bail, is awaiting trial on charges of accessory to murder, obstruction of justice and destruction of city property stemming from the 1961 slaying of local housewife Louise Potter McCallum, who had been found shot to death in her barn.

Since admitting to his role in the cover-up of the crime, Tate has made no public statements until now. It seems that his high-powered defense team from Metropolis has attempted to turn the tide of public opinion by shifting the blame to Lachlan Luthor, the father of LuthorCorp's CEO.

Tate claims that Lachlan killed young Mrs. McCallum because she had identified him as the thief who had tried to rob her on the street days earlier. Lachlan had been arrested by then Deputy Tate for the alleged incident but was released from jail the morning of McCallum's murder.

"This is an outrageous accusation," declared Mitchell Taylor, LuthorCorp director of public relations. "It is truly desperate, not to mention awfully convenient, to blame a man who is no longer alive to defend himself."
Lachlan Luthor and his wife perished in the famous, tragic tenement fire that claimed the residents of the city's old "Suicide Slum" decades ago. Lionel, then 15, was spared only because he was away at his printing job at the time.

By all accounts, Lachlan was a hardworking Scottish immigrant devoted to his family. Considering the discrimination against foreigners that was even more rampant in the early '60s, it is perhaps understandable that he may have been forced to commit a petty crime in order to feed his family.
Tate's lawyers refused to reveal what new evidence, if any, supports their client's allegation. Nor did they explain why, if Lachlan was truly violent, Tate allowed him to go free that fateful day.

"The mayor's story doesn't add up. He has never told the truth about what happened. Remember, he's already allowed one innocent man to take the fall for this," Taylor said, referring to McCallum's husband, Dexter, who served over 40 years in prison for the crime before Tate acknowledged that Dexter wasn't guilty.

"If this doesn't work, who's he going to blame next?," Taylor added, "aliens from outer space?"

METROPOLIS CRIME LORD BELIEVED DEAD
Freak Accident Victim Thought To Be Morgan Edge

By Jim "Slim" Bradlee

As previously reported in these pages ("Crime Boss in Smallville," "Manhunt for Morgan Edge Still Underway"), notorious Metropolis crime boss Morgan Edge was apparently in the process of expanding his activities into Smallville when he mysteriously disappeared following an unexplained explosion. Now, after police joined forces for a statewide manhunt, Edge has saved them the trouble by crashing his Jaguar on the property of a lavish manor where he was apparently hiding out.

Metropolis Police Lieutenant Maggie Sawyer arrived on the scene shortly after the freak accident and conferred with Lowell County Sheriff Nancy Adams. But both Sawyer and Adams seemed dubious that they'd ever have any good explanation for the events leading up to Edge's death.
"What we have here is a dead man sitting in a car that looks like it hit something very solid at 45 miles per hour and bounced 30 feet back down the driveway," stated Sawyer. "The vehicle was registered under one of Edge's aliases, as was the title deed for the home. There is no damage to the exterior of the house or anything in the area, so we don't know what he hit."

In a bizarre twist, Lex Luthor was supposedly present when the incident occurred, ranting incoherently. However, Sheriff Adams stated, "Out of respect for the Luthor family, we won't be pursuing Lex for answers. Anything he says at this point will probably not do us much good, anyhow."
Climbing back into her cruiser for the return trip to Metropolis, Lieutenant Sawyer summed up the law enforcement officials' frustration. "On top of all that, we're going to have to go through Edge's dental and DNA records, because if I'm supposed to believe that's the same Morgan Edge I've been following for a couple of decades, then the crash must have really messed up his face. This one here looks a lot like that guy from 'Sleeping with the Enemy.'"

With a wry smile, she added, "I just love coming out to Smallville, I gotta tell you."