EXPLOSION KILLS
NOTED SCHOLAR

Linguist succumbs to burns

By Gena McGuiness

World-renowned linguist Dr. Fredrick Walden died Tuesday from injuries suffered in an explosion. A propane tank on a local farm burst into flames and engulfed the famed scholar who sustained third-degree burns over most of his body. The author of Deciphering the Mysteries of Heiroglyphics, Walden had been employed by Lex Luthor to study the pictographs of Smallville's Kawatche caves. Sources say Walden miraculously awoke from a catatonic state and escaped from Forest Glen Sanitorium. Authorities speculate that he wandered onto Jonathan and Martha Kent's farm and somehow ignited the tank.

Dr. Walden's presence brought legitimacy in academic circles to the archeological importance
of the Kawatche caves. "We continue to get calls from colleagues wanting to visit the site," says Walden's assistant, Leah Marie Graham. Walden's death coupled with the recent change in conservatorship casts doubt as to future study of the caves. Lionel Luthor, who assumed control of the site from son Lex [see accompanying article], remains uncharacteristically silent on the subject.

At least five people with ties to the tunnels have died. Teens Travis George, Ray Overland and Martin Buck all faced tragic deaths after attending a rave party in the caves. LuthorCorp construction foreman Dan Hammond met a fiery end at the site of the now defunct LuthorCorp Plaza, a development halted by the discovery of the Kawatche caves, and now Dr. Walden's dramatic demise.

WEDDING REHEARSAL DINNER
Goes Off Without a Hitch

By Kathy Romita
Family and friends of Dr. Helen Bryce and Lex Luthor gathered at the Elbow River Country Club last night for the wedding rehearsal dinner. In the enchanting Garden Room, the couple entertained guests amid tasteful floral arrangements consisting of birds of paradise, gladiolus, lilies, alstroemeria, anthurium, gypsophila and ivy. A floral centerpiece adorned each table along with a petite lamp, adding to the romantic atmosphere.

Luthor was late as usual, but Bryce kept the crowd laughing with musings of "Lex will probably be late for his own wedding." When her groom arrived, a huge smile covered her face, and the two were nearly inseparable the remainder of the night.

Joining the bride and groom at their table were best man Clark Kent, maid of honor Alise Mann, parents of the bride Dr. and Mrs. Stanley Bryce and Jonathan and Martha Kent acting as parents of the groom.
Noticeably absent was Lionel Luthor, who reportedly was not invited.
The groom presented his bride with a special case of wine he named after her that was made from his private vineyard. Luthor described the burgundy as "a robust, sensual presence with a smoky, rich essence...just like my fiancée."

Guests were treated to a variety of mouth-watering canapés and hors d'oeuvres as well as a sumptuous dinner.

Best man Clark Kent offered a poignant toast to the soon-to-be-married couple by saying: "I've been looking through every book from Socrates to Shakespeare trying to find someone who can put into words the way Lex and Helen feel about each other. But what I realized is, there are no words for it. When you have it, you trust it, you believe in it, you take a chance on it. You're willing to sacrifice anything to keep it. No matter what the cost. To Helen and Lex."

Let the wedding begin!



THE EZRA SMALL CONUNDRUM
Part Five of a Six-Part Series



By Christopher James Beppo

Part I, Part II, Part III and Part IV of this series have revealed newly deciphered portions of the cryptic diary of fur trapper Ezra Small, written in the winter of 1839. In this excerpt, we find the frontiersman clinging to his sanity as the harsh months wear on, as his supplies dwindle--and as the "spells" that foist these bizarre messages on him grow in intensity. This is from the end of February of that year.

I wait. I stir at daybreak, stoke the fire. Nothing in the traps again. Blessed silence. They always leave me alone in the morning. Back under the pelt. I wait.

With snow and ice cutting off all human contact, Small must have felt like the last man on Earth. Was it this extreme loneliness that drove him to near-madness? Or was it something more practical like a physical malady affecting his brain and nervous system?

The familiar throbbing wakes me. It's almost time again. How big the high yellow sun seems, how pale and impotent. Snow halfway up the outer walls now. I wait. This corner looks like that one. I can count the knots in the rafters. My bones hurt, fire in my head. Finally it comes, the shaking, the shrieking, blinding, piercing, murdering all my senses! Get down, let it happen. Nothing makes it stop but time. Save the words.

Probably delirious from thirst and hunger, Small frantically scrawled in his journal as he suffered these attacks. While some of his writing is simply illegible--whole portions of it consist of dark scratches and meaningless symbols resembling boxes, figure eights, circles and diamonds--the readable portions hardly seem lucid anyway. Below are presented the usual snaking, weaving strings of random letters, followed by another burst of incoherent tercets.

xakiuxuwfu euivhrkufv cvcvqulh yfuhr qudkufk gztcvz flhylf yzhzwvuh gtvez yzmvt elcztz ewzewz ilil wunu rusuhru yvifljlylh ghurfvbb gizxvzg uta gauvaktky vj vg jvez gjlfeg hlj lmzf tugj glhg dkzgj jfkja uhy euyhzgg zufg ufz zmzfqnazfz jvez jl tzumz bkjkfz mvxz ifzgvyzhj hueuh hl euh wtuxc szfl tvmzg tgy lfy ecktjfu tzumz hljavhr khjkfhzy jaz wvr uifvxlj fzztzxj fulkt wtllynlfja wzxlez jaz jfkxc qlk ekgj fzjkfh v nvtt xallgz vhjfkyz fgiuqa zzy iuizfg alty uhgnzfg xlez jl ez wfzuc lh jaflkra qlk nvtt lwzq tlhztq wujjtz euvyzh wztuq btzzjvhr buez wuhvga wvjjzf blfjkhz azutvhr jaz fvbj qlk xuhhlj zgxuiz

By its awesome power
Is clarity bestowed
But fear colors the future

You were all I wanted
All my dreams
Have fallen down

A prince wishing to keep his state
Is very often forced
To do evil

By the creekside
Elucidation was granted to me
Torment was imposed on me
The sky forebodes to us
Through clear signs and fixed stars
That the time of its sudden change is approaching
Beneath its protective skin
Within its nurturing womb
Lies one possible fate

In silver and black
He lives a dream
The last for his father--and for him

Just a brief passage
He will observe it
But he will not comprehend it

Disorder will come from order
Fear will come from courage
Weakness will come from strength

Simple bands of platinum
How strong must they be
To bind two wary hearts

You don't look
Because you don't want to see
All will be revealed

The illustrated men
Move through thin air
And thick walls

When the crow on the tower made of brick
For seven hours continues to scream
Death foretold, the statue stained with blood

As the lights lower
The magic begins
The world outside disappears

My land will soon be watered
With the blood of my brothers
Ad astra per aspera

It soars and gleams
Steel and glass monument
To greed and excess

A princess will cross the pond
And buck some roads
To romance and commerce

Between subtle shading
And the absence of light
Lies the nuance of illusion

In three decades will appear
A thief in the temple, a silent temptress
Base instincts will lead to chaos

You're never more alive
Than the moment
Before you die

My descendent will fight for justice
Fail in marriage but succeed in family
Change a young future

In the year of the exodus
A great shock will sweep the heartland
The chasm will be uncrossable

Death shall come on swift wings
To him who disturbs
The peace of the king

Oh mortal man
Is there anything
You cannot be made to believe?

Bolts will pierce them both
And both will be illuminated
But only one will emerge enlightened

From Bakerline to Queensland Park
Hell's Gate to Park Ridge
His name will be known

BREAK-IN AT SMC

By Angie Perez
Dr. Helen Bryce arrived at the Smallville Medical Center for work to discover her office ransacked. Her confidential papers were strewn across the floor, desk drawers dumped and filing cabinet opened. Apparently bolt cutters were used to break into a normally locked refrigerated specimen case--only an empty test tube rack remained inside. Dr. Bryce was overheard telling her fiancé "nothing valuable was stolen."
There were no witnesses and unfortunately no security cameras in this area of the medical center. Police have no suspects at this time. Deputy sheriff Elizabeth Christine said, "drugs may be a motive for the burglary, or the vandalism was a cleverly staged ruse to cover up what the thief was really after."