FAVORITE SON
PERISHES IN WAR
But Mysteries Abound

By Gena McGuiness

It had been a while since Smallville had any reason for fanfare until Private Whitney Fordman, having been officially listed as missing in action in Central Asia, came home... or so we thought. As "Welcome Home" banners replaced yellow ribbons, a bizarre Martin Guerre-esque plot unfolded. The person we slapped on the back, shook hands with and hugged so tight as to cut off his breath was not the same man who, as a towheaded little boy, used to run the aisles of his father's store or, as a talented high school athlete, led the Crows football team to a state championship.

So who was this imposter? And why deceive a mother, a girlfriend, an entire town? We may never truly know why, but the who--former Smallville resident Tina Greer--is just as baffling. Is this the same Tina Greer who supposedly died in a hospital fire? Friends of the real Whitney claim the pretender to be Greer and admit that the truth is stranger than science fiction... even for Smallville. Authorities have reopened their investigation into the fire, and DNA testing is underway on both "Tina Greers."

Meanwhile the tragedy continues for Betty Fordman, who remains unavailable for comment. The United States Marine Corps has confirmed that Private Whitney Fordman, in fact, lost his life in the service of his country.

The 19-year-old former Smallville High quarterback joined the military after graduation last summer, a surprising decision to those close to him. Most expected the talented Fordman to be recruited by the Kansas State Wildcats, but a twist of fate saw the quarterback slot go to another.
Services will be held this Saturday at the Ferguson Funeral Home. Whitney will be buried with military honors. In lieu of flowers, the family asks that donations be made to the newly established Whitney Fordman Scholarship Fund to benefit SHS athletes.

CRATER LAKE
DEVOURS SNOWMOBILE--AGAIN
By Kathy Romita

Winter sports enthusiast Buddy Mann sunk another snowmobile into Crater Lake last Sunday. Mann and three friends were riding on snow-covered plains and farmland for several hours. Then they ventured out onto the icy lake. Three of the thrill-seekers managed to stay on thick ice, but Mann cruised out to the center of the lake and fell in--along with his vehicle. Mann's friends quickly came to his rescue by pulling Mann out of the lake using a rope attached to one of the snowmobiles. But they couldn't retrieve Mann's vehicle, which sunk almost immediately.

"That's the third snowmobile I've lost to that darn lake in the last 12 years," Mann lamented. "I've been able to pull them out in the summer, but they get all messed up because of the water. They're not jet skis, you know."
One of Mann's friends Grant Stone, who helped him to safety, joked, "We came prepared with rope this time. This is not a first for us. We're thinking of making Buddy wear a life preserver the next time he snowmobiles with us."

Earlier in the day, Mann's wife, Vicki, who was also with her husband on the excursion, measured the ice at the edge of the lake. She explained, "It was frozen solid. I stuck my 12-inch ruler into a hole I drilled, and the ice was even deeper than my ruler. I guess the lake doesn't freeze as thick in the center--which is strange."

"I'm so grateful to my buddies for rescuing me," Mann said. "The water was really frigid when I fell in. I was still hanging onto the craft, and the deeper we sank the warmer the water got. I mean to tell you, it was warm down there. The 28-year-old factory worker added, "I can remember when I was 16, we used to ride on the lake all the time. It froze over completely. Nowadays you often hear of someone losing a snowmobile in that lake. It must be that global warming that people are always talking about."

SHERIFF WARNS MOTORBIKERS, RACERS

By Jim "Slim" Bradlee

Responding to numerous complaints of noisy and dangerous dirt bikes, Sheriff Ethan emphasized vehicle safety to students in a special assembly at Smallville High School.

"Even though you don't need a driver's license to operate motorized dirt bikes, you are still required to follow the law and respect those around you. This means wearing a helmet and traveling at a safe speed, especially in crowded areas," advised the sheriff before a brief dirt bike safety demonstration and slideshow sponsored by the Earth Riders Trails Association.

"We will also be routinely patrolling the wooded areas surrounding town to ensure that all motorbike and automobile activity is conducted in a safe, lawful manner," Ethan warned. "We've had too many complaints of damage and dangerous behavior out there." He added that while illegal street
racing may be on the rise in several Kansas counties, thanks to the sport's recent glamorization by Hollywood, it will not be tolerated in Smallville.
But few students interviewed afterwards seemed impressed, noting that there are not enough deputies on the force to be everywhere at once. As student Travis Johns put it, "Anybody who's got a motorbike is going to take it off-trail and head out to the caves. That's where the best jumps are. And anyone who has any kind of decent car is over at Saunder's Gorge racing. That's been going on forever, and it's not gonna stop now."

Saunder's Gorge has long been the location of daredevil antics, with its remote location and banked stretches of undeveloped land that invite drag racing. Since 1954, at least six attempts have been made by foolhardy teenagers to race their cars to the edge and jump across the abandoned quarry. Tragically, none have been successful.

WHAT'S IN THE CAVES?

By George "The Streak" Talmer

A few weeks back, a new network of caves was found below the old Miller property. The discovery halted a planned LuthorCorp development that promised to infuse thousands of new dollars into the greater Smallville community. LexCorp now owns the rights to develop the property into a state historical landmark.

What was once good news to the Kawatche people is quickly turning sour. Much speculation has been made in the weeks following the cave discovery, and one local activist is getting antsy because of the unanswered questions.

"My people created those cave paintings, my granddaughter gave her life for them, and I can't even get access to study them. I thought that since Lex Luthor secured the site, we would have access," commented Kansas State Professor Joseph Willowbrook, a Kawatche.

Upon hearing Willowbrook's complaints, Luthor commented that "Joseph and all the people of Kansas will have the opportunity
to study those caves once the initial stages of preservation are outlined and underway. Until then, the caves will be guarded to protect them from vandals."

"Another Luthor lie!" cries Willowbrook. "I have secured countless historical sites for the state of Kansas. Normally I would be granted full access immediately. Kawatches should be involved in the preservation of Kawatche lore! Luthor has found something down there, and he doesn't want others to get at it, I just know it."

But the question is: what? Willowbrook speculates that an octagonal slot carved into the wall of the caves could be the answer. "This kind of work has never been seen before among Kawatche artifacts. This could be the key that unlocks the entire mystery of the Kawatche tribe's origin. Perhaps Luthor knows this and is waiting for Indiana Jones to come out and take a look for him."

Unless that happens, we'll just have to wait for Luthor and the state to open the caves up to the rest of us.