JACKSON "JACK"
FORDMAN DIES
Whitney Fordman Mourns His Father

By Gena McGuiness

Funeral services were held yesterday for Jack Fordman, owner of Fordman's department store. Recent months had seen the decline in health of the 53-year-old entrepreneur, husband and father. Son Whitney Fordman, Smallville High's star quarterback, had taken over the store's management duties while his father recuperated from a debilitating heart ailment. Released from Smallville Medical Center last month, Jack Fordman continued to convalesce at home while he waited for a donor heart. Fordman's health improved slightly this past week only to take a sudden and devastating downturn.

Fordman's department store has been a Smallville fixture since 1943, when Jack's mother, Ruth, founded the company selling homemade soaps, greeting cards, quilts and gift items. What began as a small business developed into downtown Smallville's most successful and oldest (with the closure of the Talon Theater) establishment. In 1950, Fordman's
moved to its current location on Main Street and 12 years ago underwent major repairs after being struck by meteor fragments.

Jack Fordman was active in the community, serving two terms as president f the chamber of commerce and one term on the city council, donating store merchandise to local charities and volunteering at Mobile Meals.

Recently, thanks to Lex Luthor, Fordman was able to see one of his dreams come true when he watched his son, Whitney, quarterback a football scrimmage with the Metropolis Sharks here at Smallville High's stadium.
In addition to son Whitney, Jackson Fordman is survived by his wife, Betty.

SURGEON'S HANDS SEVERED
By Angie Perez

Metropolis University Children's Hospital was the scene of a freak accident earlier this week when prominent surgeon Dr. Nathan Wells nearly lost his life. As Dr. Wells and companion Rene David boarded an elevator, the elevator suddenly lurched then came to an abrupt stop between floors, trapping the couple.

The alarm failed to sound, and in an effort to escape, Wells pried open the doors. He hoisted Rene above him, and she climbed to safety. "We heard a groan of machinery and knew we had to get out of there," said Rene, who was not injured. As Wells attempted to pull himself up and out of the cab, the cable snapped, and the elevator came crashing down, instantaneously severing the doctor's hands at the wrists. Dr. Wells was treated at the hospital's emergency room and later transported to Metropolis General Hospital where he remains in serious condition. It is not immediately known if the doctor's reattached hands will be able to hold a scalpel again.

In a tragic twist of irony, Wells recently came under scrutiny with five malpractice suits filed in Lowell County against the famous physician.
In a statement made to authorities, building engineer Brian Pond said, "There were no indications that the elevator had any problems prior to the terrifying incident." Hospital officials report that the investigation is ongoing.

LUTHORCORP MIS OVERHAUL
Hackers Beware
By Mark Dee

LuthorCorp MIS director Will Soo has been hitting the caffeine pretty hard these days. Sleep? That's a luxury he can't afford. You'd do the same if over 20,000 people tried to hack into your company's intranet every day. You'd do the same if Lionel Luthor was counting on you to keep them out.
Soo's been hard at work reconfiguring the LuthorCorp internal computer system into the most secure company system available. "I don't know what makes people think this is gonna be as easy to hack as NASA and the IRS," Soo confidently states, "But they're not getting into LuthorCorp. Not on my watch. No way. The remote system is only accessible by LuthorCorp employees."

Soo ought to know. He started as a hacker himself back in the mid '80s, long before Internet was a household word. "I was hacking into my school's computer system and changing my grades back when these freaks were still futzing with Oregon Trail on their Apple IIEs. I was making my Commodore 64 talk to the CIA before that Napster kid was even born. So if these punks think they can break through LIDNET, bring it on."

LuthorCorp's Web site is protected by LIDNET (Luthor Intrusion Detection Network), a protocol that Soo based on the security software he designed for the federal government a few years ago.

"You're playing with fire if you want to bust into LuthorCorp, that's all I'm gonna say. Lionel Luthor places a premium on his company's security, and that means not only defending it but finding out who's threatening it and how they're doing it. That's why I'm here--and I don't come cheap."
Soo explains that LIDNET has tracked numerous efforts to go from the public sections of Luthorcorp.net to the restricted areas by clicking on "Intranet" and impersonating either Lex Luthor or Lionel Luthor. "It's just pathetic to watch these amateurs try to get in. We had a little incident here a while ago when some British trick stole a username and password and read a couple of e-mails, and since then I've overhauled the whole joint. The user names have changed, and the passwords rotate at infrequent intervals. The personnel files and holdings cannot be accessed without our proprietary thumb-scanning software and peripherals, and the Indigo Charlie terminal--forget about it. Basically, my friend, no one is getting into this [expletive deleted]."

Mocking the many failed hacking attempts, Soo continued, "Yeah, guys, congratulations on right-clicking and hitting 'play.' If that were all it took to get Lionel Luthor's Swiss bank account numbers, I'd be a dead man. Joe Internet should just stick to clicking on comics2film.com or checking out the latest "Roswell" recaps on that televisionwithoutpity site."

SHS PRINCIPAL JAMES KWAN VICTIM OF DEADLY ACCIDENT
By Kathy Romita

The city of Smallville mourns the recent loss of James Kwan, principal of Smallville High School. Kwan was killed in a freak accident when his own car pinned him against his garage door. Mechanics are still investigating what caused the vehicle to shift gears and hit Kwan, who died at the scene. There were no eyewitnesses.

When former principal Rupert Hughes resigned from Smallville High School last June and moved to Topeka for a new position, he recommended a "no-nonsense" educator as his replacement, the assistant principal from Metropolis High, James Kwan. Kwan was given the nod and started immediately.

Last fall, Kwan was injured when his car caught on fire in the school parking lot. He suffered from smoke inhalation and burns on his hands but made a quick recovery. Mechanics never discovered the cause of that fire.
Kwan insisted on honesty from his students, teachers and staff. His emphasis on education was evident when he suspended seven football players for cheating--even though the late Coach Walt Arnold was shooting for a new record. Kwan displayed a high moral standard at school and at home. Kwan leaves behind his wife, Teresa, and two children, Danny and Jessica. Principal Kwan was very active in local as well as national organizations. He served on the board of directors for Mobile Meals, the Metropolis Museum of Art, the Smallville Retirement Center and the Lowell County Teachers Association. Kwan was a member of the Sunflower State Principals Association, National Congress of Parents and Teachers, the American Association of School Administrators and the Teach Your Children Well Organization.

Chloe Sullivan, editor of the student newspaper, reflected, "I respected him, and I feel a great sense of loss over his passing. Principal Kwan wasn't just a teacher--he was an educator." Pete Ross, son of Judge Ross, commented, "I learned a lot from him. He never lost focus on what was important and right." A special service will be held in the school gym tomorrow morning followed by a private memorial.

In a terrible twist of fate, Principal Kwan's son, Danny, has admitted his guilt in the Justin Gaines hit-and-run accident that occurred over six months ago at River Bend and Sixth. Gaines has been recovering from his injuries and was recently released from the hospital. Last night, Danny Kwan walked into the sheriff's office and confessed to newly appointed Sheriff Ethan Miller. Formal charges are expected to be filed immediately following Principal Kwan's funeral tomorrow afternoon. It is unclear whether Principal Kwan knew about his son's involvement in that incident.