LUTHOR ATTACKED IN OWN HOUSE

Suspect's Parents Worked On Estate

Lex Luthor and a friend look on as emergency workers remove the injured suspect.

A teenage male was arrested last night at the Luthor mansion after he allegedly attacked Lex Luthor. Deputy Ethan Miller reported, "Jeff Palmer, a Smallville High School student, whose parents worked as caretakers at the estate, must of beat Lex Luthor outside and then drug him into the main building. We do know that Luthor had just sent Palmer's mother and sister to Metropolis and are still trying to figure out what happened."

Someone from inside the Scottish castle placed an emergency call, and deputies arrived moments later. They noticed the lock on the front door was destroyed and heard noises coming from inside a room known as the armory because it houses medieval weaponry. They witnessed Lex Luthor stumbling around and Jeff Palmer,
unconscious and covered with paint, lying on the far side of the room.
Lowell County chief paramedic Jake Ruddzehn responded to the call and looked puzzled as he said, "We discovered a kind of green, shimmering gel--an unknown substance--underneath the paint on Palmer's skin." Medical authorities are investigating as to whether Palmer had some sort of allergic reaction to the green substance and became violent. In any case, the youth will eventually be sent to Metropolis General for psychological evaluation.

Luthor recalls that he never even saw anyone hit him, but he remembers being outside and then mysteriously waking up in the armory. The fertilizer prince was treated by his personal physician and given a clean bill of health.

MANHUNT FOR MURDER SUSPECT CALLED OFF
By Angie Perez

Smallville's Sheriff Mark Waid announced today that the statewide manhunt for the suspect in the murder of car dealer James Gage has been called off. Waid reluctantly admitted that "the trail had gone cold." With very few leads in the case, deputies were informed that the task force had been dismantled and that they would return to their normal duties.
Waid said the department would continue to investigate any sightings of men fitting the composite sketch of the suspect, who had also attacked waitress Zoe Garfield at The Beanery.
The Sheriff stated that, at the request of the Ledger, the department had been investigating any possible connection between the young male suspect and convicted killer Harry Volk--who spent his final days in the Smallville Retirement Center before he died in a tragic silo accident. Both Gage and Garfield were related to members of the jury that convicted Volk, and their attacks took place shortly after the elderly man's release from prison. "With the old man dead, we just couldn't add any more pieces to the puzzle. It's disappointing, but we have to move on," said Waid.

SMALLVILLE'S OWN BERMUDA TRIANGLE?
by Christopher James Beppo

The pristine forests surrounding Smallville provide rest and recreation for dozens of townsfolk each year. But recent accounts have revived some age-old legends of strange occurrences in the leafy glade. Dating back to the Civil War, rumors of a "Bermuda Triangle effect" in Smallville's Burnham Woods have passed from generation to generation, with dozens of revelations coming to light in just the past 10 years. Campers and hikers describe an intense feeling of disorientation upon traversing certain sections of the forest. Some people even seem to lose all memory of what transpired between entering and emerging from the woods.

Last week, Sheriff Waid spoke with witnesses who reported that a group of out-of-town surveyors "came tearing out of there, screaming like a bunch of little girls." While denying that they were so frightened--and refusing to disclose exactly what their business was in the forest--the surveyors did admit a powerful sense of unease, "as if the forest didn't want us in there."

When the forest incidents are considered along with other unusual activity in Smallville, more questions are raised than answered. Could something in the woods have created those oversized strands of silk recently found strewn around town? A creature of that size would certainly need copious amounts of food to survive--which could explain the deer carcass mysteriously stripped of its fat found by Route 5. Could the rampaging animal have even triggered the spate of unexplained fires in town?

Many Smallvillians are dissatisfied with Sheriff Waid's evasiveness regarding the outcomes of his overburdened staff's many investigations. Could the county authorities be covering up the gruesome acts of some sort of forest beast? Did those terrified surveyors encounter the Smallville Sasquatch or the Lowell County Loch Ness Monster? The journalistic mind reels with the possibilities.
Smallville's spooky goings-on have attracted the attention of syndicated late-night radio host Art Dunsinane, an expert on the paranormal. Speaking from his Nevada broadcast facility, Dunsinane commented that the Smallville situation "is only one part of the big picture. Look, it's about time mainstream media outlets like the Ledger caught on to what I've been saying for years. Animal mutilations, crop circles, UFOs, covert government activity--it all comes back to the indisputable evidence that aliens are among us. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if Smallville were already harboring a strange visitor from another world."

CURTAINS CLOSE ON THE TALON
By Gena McGuiness

Smallville's Talon Theater will soon dim its lights for the last time. Bowing to difficult economic times, the elegant movie house is scheduled to close next week. Family-owned and operated, the Talon Theater raised its curtains in 1939 with a screening of The Wizard of Oz and celebrated its 60th anniversary by showing the restored, re-released version of the family classic in 1999. Long the sole movie theater in Smallville, the Talon has seen its patronage fall due to the proliferation of large-chain multiplex theaters.

For years, Saturday and Sunday matinees buzzed with kinetic kids who flooded the theater to see three cartoons and a feature for 50
cents, while their moms frequented the beauty parlors, dress shops or grocery stores of Main St.

Like many, I fondly recall when the Talon was the Saturday night teenage hot spot, and first-date remembrances often include the night's double (yes, double) feature.

And, of course, there was the rumor. James Dean, on a cross-country motorcycle trip, stopped in Smallville and caught a showing of Rebel Without a Cause, only to roar out of town before the lights came up. Whether true or not, it's all a part of the romanticism.
Yes, indeed, the Talon will be a greatly missed piece of Smallville's charm, history and downtown landscape.