After a long lull, we have the new, sixth Redemption Connecticut contest: The Redemption Story. The idea is to w rite a short story using as many names of Redemption cards as possible, in the most creative way.
The contest is over, and there were some really great entries. Here are the entries. Card names are italicized, numbers afterwards in parentheses are my given number of points for that use.
Chris "The Yellow Dart" Sauer: 20 points, 98 words
Joan hated essays. Sure, her love (1) for writing was like the river flowing from the temple (2), but this was too much. In a reach of desperation (3), Joan grabbed her CDs. She played “Climb the Walls” (2) - a track that spoke of false dreams (2) and confusion (1). She felt this way. Luckily, her friends were a scarlet line (1) of believers; regular fishers of men (2). They told her that only the Son of God (1) could gain victory (1) over the strong demon (1) that possessed her. Only Christ could fulfill the hunger (1) in her heart, and that the Book of Life (2) awaits her name.
Chris got a lot of words in there without breaking the limit, with a nice use of most of them. Reach of Desperation and Climb the Walls were the most imporessive work-ins. Best of all, it's an actual cohesive story!
Chris Gresens: 6 points, 117 words
King of Tyrus attacks the holy city "Hail, King of Tyrus ," sounded the Legions (2), "the Besieging of the City is working according to plan. "Excellent," said King of Tyrus , "but i fear that it will not last long because I hear that Warrior in Training is on the battle field! "Do not worry the Guards will take care of him," said legions. Meanwhile at the battlefield. "Quick to a fast strike at those possessing demons (1) with your sword (1) ," yelled The Strong Angel to Warrior in Traing . "YES SIR," screamed back Warrior in Training . "We will overthrow these demons with the Authority of Christ (2) in us," yelled || (100 words, not counting title) Peter . With the Speed (0) of a rabbit Warrior in Training struck the possessing demons and destroyed them.
Chris would've done well if I hadn't established the rule that characters can't have the names of Redemption cards. While didn't get many points by my system, it's still a good story and it was a fun read. I can tell a lot of effort went into it, it just didn't score well.
Allan: 11 points, 103 words
Once, there was a battle in heaven, and the strong angel and others had fallen away. Jesus, the Son of God (1) , tried to have a gathering of angels (2) at the city of Jerusalem (1), but the fallen angels (1) rebelled and didn't want to go back to heaven. The angels soon joined the strong demon (1) , locusts from the pit (2) , king of Tyrus, and the prince of this world to destroy heaven for their hate (1) for God was strong. God was in need of aid, so he called on all of his Christian soldiers (2), but they were no match for their secret weapon, || (100 words) the red dragon (0).
Well, this was hurt partially because of its use of character names as characters, and the apparent stretches to work them in. By no means is it a bad story though, and it's got great effort put into it. Why is it evil-oriented though?
Gamer "Gamer X" X: 44 points, 98 words
If all Pharisees (2) , in their ignorance (1) , would love (1) and show kindness (1) to children (1) , even the little leper (2) who is addicted to speed (4) and revels in disobedience (1) , then when solomon dedicates the temple (3) they will recieve redemption (2) and blessings (1) as the glory of the Lord (2) shines upon the Holy of Holies (2) . Otherwise each false prophet's (2) unclean spirit (1) will be worked to ehaustion (2) in the dungeon of Malchiah (2) , where cruelty (1) abounds and no hope (1) exists. In that evil pit (2) their dream (1) of wild parties (2) and drunkenness (1) shall fade as the mist (2) , leaving only hate (1) and hostility (1) in their poisoned minds (2).
Holy stinkin' malted milk balls. You had 44 points?!? I loved the use of Speed and how you somehow managed to get Solomon Dedicates the Temple in there. Great jorb! You got just about 1 point for every two words... man.
The big winner was Gamer X, who doesn't get a prize (I never promised one... :D), but gets the satisfaction of being the best person ever. At everything. Ever. Go X!
Here were the guidelines, for the curious:
While walking home one day, John noticed a fish lying in a net off the side of the road. He looked at this miraculous catch and took it home. Soon, they became best friends! He treated the fish with love and care, and always felt joy when he was around it. One unfortunate day, he smelled something cooking, and went to the kitchen, where he saw the fish in an iron pan! John stood in stillness, refusing to eat and prayer and fasting until the next day.
86 words, 8 points. "John" doesn't count because it is a Biblical name. "Prayer and Fasting" doesn't count because it was used poorly in a huge stretch. "Iron Pan" was worked in creatively and deserved an extra point. Overall, not a very good story with no real plot and tons of stretches. I expect to see some entries exceeding 50 points!
Old Contests (some pictures taken down due to space constrictions): #1, #2, #3, #4, #5