This is a counter: . If you see nothing but text, break out of frame here. These are keywords for search engines. The Kalashnikov was seized at customs, but the dream lived on. Soon after his arrival, Kazikian met up with Bill Williams and started a small business which offered various services. Kazikian killed Williams soon thereafter and opened his own enterprise, an unlicensed dental clinic on Coney Island. Known as Kazikian’s Koney Klinic, or the KKK, the office treated over six thousand patients until its closure in 1977. Kazikian went into seclusion for several years, but reemerged inthe mid-80’s to found Ahmed Kazikian Industry®. Today, AKI Inc. has over 300 branches, each o ff ering a uni q ue product or serv ice. And since AKI operates from a secluded barbed- wire enclosed compound in the Midway Islands, we can offer what no one else can. So sit back, g r a b a c up of c o f fee and browse ou r online catalog.You’ll be glad you did. here is ahmed kazikian industry with products and services, humor and parody. be fun, be amused, be dis t u r b ing, be odd, b e curious, be funn y, be peculiar, be bored, if you’re tired of the war in Iraq, give Saddam Hussein some smack. free filez free games free waste removal and stor a g e ahmed kazikia n J ihad bodyguards a nd fine dining, fine cuisine, Hazmat Direct 2 U with Hazardous Materials, Hitler and corporate parody and repeating Hitler, consumer products o r j ust products, s e r vices and more, w itness the possibilities, imagine the future, come to AKI. that’s AKI, with ahmed and music and sex and sex and porn. i want to kill myself a n d i am so bored wi t h AIM and Kazaa and the DVD rip. i want gifts, harsh laxatives wasting time bored and jokes with shopping Flash games and contests and TV and football. also m o v i es , and there had b e e n Flash movies an d Flash fun and teen laughter humor parody that is more disturbed than being bored with george w. bush flash animation. commercial product s , i ndustri al services a n d vice versa. if you think this is just keyword padding… lots of fun lots of wit and dark humor, cyncism and anger and cynical pain… then you’re probably ri g h t . in f ac t stop rea d i n g right now and c lick enter already, you stupid ass. moving on, it’s a business and business management, corporation parody, with free products and fun free st uf f for you. interw e b cybertech and te levisitaria where internet explorer gets a taste of netscape. a movie download with the riaa and more so corporate finance like my shopping weird Hitler makes quiche and Hitler vac uums your floors commercial waste removal and hazardous materials and a restaurant to die for. more coming soon. i’m so bored i could visit www.kazikian.tk and i’m so tired and so very lazy and there’s nothing to do and blah blah blah and so on and so one and now some joke and bizarre animation and Flash games run toys around. internet casinos are the greate st thing ever. we have an online casino right here with entertainment for everyone and news parodies and spoofs. make millions from home and refinance your mortgage. i lost weight on the AKI plan, you can lose weight too. disturbing pictures distressing news and humorous information hazardous materials direct to you televisitaria with george w. bush dancing and all your base are belong to us. these were ju s t s tolen f r o m someone else incoherent ran ts i l i k e apathy disgust he was loathi n g hate b or e d theref o r e life dip s h it asshole jumped higher kickass dumbass meaning stupid moron idi o t never. th i s l icks bizarre idiosyncra t ic and we i r d . waste time. free animation s . c orporat e p a rody h u m or satire f u nny for the comed y i like news internet community weblog music f l e w by like a p o l itical satire blinked a n d entertai n m ent books. products and ser v i c es for t h o s e who tr y ebusiness a n d the corporate n etwork synergy apathy management solutions for i n t ernet profes s i onals who need facts, a n d answers. i nterweb cybertech llc. ne t s c ap e circ u m n a v i gator H o w does you r w e b experience mak e you feel? Are you cruising the interformati o n c yberhighway w i t h the top down and the r adio up? O r are you pulling out your p u bic hair w i t h pliers a s you wait f o r page after mind- numbing page to load? Do you have panic attack s at the sound o f m o dem noise? Has your w i fe left yo u three months ago and yo u s till ha v e n ’ t noticed? N o seriously , g o check, we’ll wa it for you... Back yet? Are you ready for the I nternet Cybertec h ( S M) experience? If so, you’re at t h e right place. We’ll c u r e yo ur cy b e r - road rage wi t h Webernet E x p lorinator(TM), t he only web browser featuring our patented F l e x ure Obliquity(TM ) ( F LOB) interface. Clic k here to l e a rn more and download a f r ee 30-d a y d e mo of Webern e t Explorin a t o r ! Wait, are you a developer or webmaster? We’ve got somethin g f or you too. Every w e ek (footnote: year), our chief a s ian software engine e r , Yin Cha k h l o , will post a n e w article o u t l ining both the b asics and complexities of web design. Wheth e r y ou’re a beginner o r a seasoned veteran, y ou can’t m i s s “A roadmap to th e I nterweb C y b e r h ighway,” by Mr . Chakhlo. A n d remember, he’s a sian, so he must know what he’s talking abo u t ! Welco m e t o Ahmed K a z i ki an’s J.I.H.a.D. B o dyguard Se r v ices, the elite p e r s onal sec u r i t y consultants. In t oday’s ag e o f uncertainty, wa r and terrorism, we all need protection. B u t most bo d y g u ards are s l o w , unfaithful, and d emand a re g u lar salary. Wor s e s till, t h e y a ct only after a th r e at is per c e i v ed. So by the ti me your bodyguard unholsters his baton an d assumes a t h r e a tening po s i t ion, you’re alrea d y lying in a pool of your o w n fast- c o o l i n g blood. That’s wher e Ahmed Kaz i k i a n’s J.I.H.a.D. B odyguard Services comes in. Our guards d i f f er fro m t h e r e s t in thre e k ey areas: 1) They strike pre - e mptively, kil l i ng everyt h i n g within your 25m. dia m e ter “safe t y z one” before you can be attacked. See that old lady walki n g towards y o u ? T h e mailman t o your right? Thos e two men a c r oss the str e e t ? Any on e o f t hem can pull a gun on y ou in sec o n d s . With a standar d bodyguard you’d be dead in seconds. Bu t w ith J.I . H . a.D B o dyguards a t your side, these threats ar e eliminated b e f ore yo u ’ r e e ven within range. And b e s t of all, a l l J.I.H.a.D Bodyg uards are followed by our patented “Dis p o sal Team ” s o you ’ l l never ha v e to leave unsigh t ly dead bo d i es in you r w a ke. 2 ) J . I . H .a.D. Bodyguards are nev e r paid! Ho w i s this possible, you ask? Because all J.I.H.a.D. Bodygu a r d s are a c t u a lly f o r m er members o f the Al Quada t errorist n e t work, a n d b elieve t h e y are protecting Bin Laden h i m self. Wit h e a ch cadre of body guards, we include a false beard and m u s tache, a s w e ll as a n authentic A f ghani turban. K eep these o n at al l t i mes, an d t h e ruse is foolproof. 3) J.I. H . a.D. Body g u a r ds are not only willing but eager to take a bullet fo r yo u. I n f a c t , we ha v e h ad instan c e s when J.I.H.a . D. Bodygua r d s ope n e d fire on t h e m selves; they simply love to d i e! John F . K e nnedy, Elvis Pre sley, Friedrich Nietzsche, Winston C h u rch ill, J o h n Rockefel l e r , George W . B ush: these p e ople are a l l dea d , o r will b e s o on. Don’t let that happen to y o u. Go on “ J . I .H.a.D!” Imagine the possibilities! Witness the futu r e ! Come to A K I®. not p a i d , on jihad , w e tell them y ou are bin l ad e n a n d give y o u a mustache, beard to wear In to d a y’s age o f u n certainty, war a nd terrorism, we all need protectio n . But up u n t i l now what c h o i ces did y o u have? You c o uld buy a g u n a n d wind up i n jail after you accidentally shoo t 23 people i n a busy park one Sunday afternoon. You could stay in y ou r hous e a ll day peekin g thr ough t he b linds at ho u rly interv a l s u ntil yo u s l o w ly descend into the terrifying ni g h tmare of y o u r own insanity. O r you could hire a bodyguard…and y e t , w ould e v e n this truly a s s u re your sa f e t y ? J.I.H.a . D., aside f r o m signif y i n g a holy crusade, abbreviates our CEO ’ s sentimen t a f ter watching our first customer walk out the door : “ ‘G’ee, I h o pe a client doe s n ’ t die...” I f this echo e s your ow n h o pes on n o t d y ing, you’ve come to the right place . after one - t i m e delivery charg e. AKI is not responsible for act i o ns of bo d y g u ards if mustach e / b e ard ensem b l e is remov e d. AKI is n o t responsib l e for dead bodyguards. No replacement b odyguards w i l l be shipped. To day you can hardly walk down the s t reet wit h o u t being visually a s s au lted by a d v e rtising for the l a t e s t soft drin k , p air of jeans, or Philips head scr e w driver. S u r e we love ads, but the companies behind them are c o n tinually f a ced with a serious d i le mma: adv e r t ising co s ts money, m o n e y t hat coul d b e better spent on the CEO’s new b e a ch house o r p rostitute. The s olution? Turn consumers into wa l k i ng adve r t i s ements by selling th e m crap with c o mpany l o gos printe d o n i t . With tha t b u siness model in mind, Ahmed Ka z i kian’s Co n s u m er Products Divi sion presents Harshies (TM), t h e only c on s u m e r product with a cr i s p ca ndy she l l a nd a c h ewy poison c en t e r . A 1996 c o u r t injunction prevents us from s e l ling this p r o duct, but we can still offer you low-quality t - s h irts w i t h o ur core message. Anoth e r company ( l n k to he r sheyhappin e s s.c o m ) ma y want t o s e ll you the idea that, like c h o colate, l i f e is sweet. This i s not true; like chocolate, l i f e is bro w n a n d sticky. So check out o ur whole li n e of sh i rts. Becau s e if y o u ’ r e going to b e a corporate tool, you migh t as well b e o u r corporate tool . Imagine the possibilities! W i tness th e fu ture! Come to AKI®. Ahm ed K azikian ca m e to t h e United S t a tes in 1 9 5 6 with onl y a dream and a Kalashnikov r a p id-fire s u b m a chine gun. The K alashnikov was seized at cu s t o m s, but the dream lived on. Soon after his arrival , K azik i an met up w i th Bill W i l l iams an d s t a r ted a small business whi c h offered v a r i ous services. Ka zikian