Today you can hardly walk down the street without being visually assaulted by advertising for the latest soft drink, pair of jeans, or Philips head screwdriver. Sure we love ads, but the companies behind them are continually faced with a serious dilemma: advertising costs money, money that could be better spent on the CEO’s new beach house or prostitute.

         The solution? Turn consumers into walking advertisements by selling them crap with company logos printed on it.

         With that business model in mind, Ahmed Kazikian’s Consumer Products Division^SM presents Harshies^TM, the only consumer product with a crisp candy shell and a chewy poison center. A 1996 court injunction prevents us from selling this product, but we can still offer you low-quality t-shirts with our core message.

         Another company may want to sell you the idea that, like chocolate, life is sweet. This is not true; like chocolate, life is brown and sticky.

         So check out our whole line of shirts. Because if you’re going to be a corporate tool, you might as well be our corporate tool.

         Imagine the possibilities! Witness the future! Come to AKI ^®.

	YOU DON'T MATTER		K1LL URSELF ;)
	I CAUSE CANCER		LIFE SUCKS; YOURS I MEAN

         Click here to order. NOTE: These shirts are real; they cost real money, $16USD to be exact.