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MEGATRON:"Ahh, at long last, my new Vehicon is complete. And the best part
is I didn't have to write a whole new persona like I did the rest of you." JETSTORM:"You wrote us yourself?" MEGATRON:"Well, WARendfeld charged too much and you don't want to know what the WWFF guys wanted to do with you." (note: these are references to other fanfic writers that post to the alt.toys.transformers newsgroup.) THRUST:"Thanks, now Thrust have..I mean I'll have nightmares for a week." TANKOR:{whispering}"You're nightmares are just beginning." MEGATRON:"I'm sorry, what did you say, Tankor?" TANKOR:"Uhhhh, Tankor think new Vehicon slag beastbots?" MEGATRON:" Yes, indeed. Behold......Mirage!" JETSTORM:"Mirage? I thought you were going to call him 'Burnout'." MEGATRON:"I was, but there's an old Cybertron law that Indy cars must be named Mirage. Silly, but who am I to go against the rules." JETSTORM:"Uh, aren't you the guy running the show?" MEGATRON:"Oh, yeah. Ah well, too late now. Now go, Mirage, take your new race drones and bring me the Maximals' sparks!" Meanwhile, the Maximals are above ground heading for the Vehicon base that was once the seat of power for the Maximal Elders. But now it's not. PRIMAL:"This is all my fault. If I had been a better leader, Cheetor wouldn't of comitted suicide."NIGHTSCREAM:"He just had his spark yanked out. We're not allowed to kill, remember?" RATTRAP:"If we could, I know who my first choice would be." BLACKARACHINA:"Oh, now you've hurt my feelings. I only told you that I loved you. You're just making too much out of it." RATTRAP:"Oh, really?" BLACKARACHNIA:"Take me now you gorgeous hunk of technorganic! Make me a woman!!!!" RATTRAP:"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH RATTRAP:"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Man, and I thought the Beast War flashbacks were murder. PRIMAL:"We're here. Get ready to attack. There may be a chance to save Cheetor. Besides, he owes me money." NIGHTSCREAM:"Who doesn't he owe money to?" Suddenly the doors to the citidel open and Mirage steps out. PRIMAL:"So Vehicon, you stand against the mighty Maximal warriors? We shall defeat you or my name isn't Owa Tagu Siam!"RATTRAP:"Hey, hold on. We know that...who?...that those Vehicons carry Maximal sparks. Not including Thrust who has Waspinator's." BLACKARACHNIA:"Don't remind me. What we almost did back at that factory...." RATTRAP:"Anyway, who's spark does this guy have? MIRAGE:"Who's do you think, ratface!" PRIMAL:"By the Matrix!!!! Cheetor?" CHEETOR/MIRAGE:"Who else is left on this show? Dinobot?" RATTRAP:"Well, he is overdue...." MIRAGE:"You abandoned me, tossed me aside and toyed with my emotions alone in a sea of lust and passion!" PRIMAL:"Cheetor I didn't mean to......WHAT DID YOU SAY!!!!??????" MIRAGE:"Not you, stupid! You just abandoned me without a father." PRIMAL:"Surrogate. I never met you mother." CHEETOR:"I never even knew my real dad! (SOB){voice begins to return to Mirage's} Then that Widow ignores my love-for that rat!" RATTRAP:"Hey, she's all yours. Please take her." BLACKARACHNIA:"But I'm pregnant with your child! Or is it Silverbolt's? It wasn't Cheetor's. And with Quickstrike and Taran....." MIRAGE:"Enough!!! Now it's time for you to die!!!!!!!!" NIGHTSCREAM:"Fox Kids wouldn't like that." MIRAGE:"OK, then prepare to...ummm...be hurt really bad...or something." PRIMAL:"But Cheetor, we're family." MIRAGE:"It's Mirage now, and I have a new family." Suddenly a group of racedrones arrives. PRIMAL:"Umm, does this mean we aren't getting our money back?"MIRAGE:"Of course not; I'm evil now! Heheheheheheheehehehehe" NIGHTSCREAM:"That's your evil laugh?" MIRAGE:"Hey, I'm new at this! Get them, my drones!" The drones run over Mirage and pursue the Maximals. MIRAGE:"I though we weren't doing the slapstick stuff anymore. {moan}PRIMAL:"Maximals, move #2085." NIGHTSCREAM;"Ahh, a new move that Cheetor doesn't know. But what is it?" PRIMAL:"Same as the other 2084. Run away, run away......" The Maximals split up and run away, with Primal running from one group of drones, Nightscream running from the other, and Rattrap running from Blacharachnia. Cheetor... MIRAGE:"AHEM!" I mean...Mirage pursues the couple. RATTRAP:"We are NOT a couple." Nightscream continues to run from the Vehicons before remembering he's a bat. He flies up and the racedrones run into a wall. Meanwhile, Primal is in a dead end himself, with a racedrone right behind him. PRIMAL:"[I am Transformed] Come on boy; I'll take on you and your whole family!"The rest of the racedrones arrive and transform. PRIMAL:"Heh,heh, let me refrase that...."The Vehicons fire!!! ADVERTISEMENT Hello, we are the Vok! Sorry about that whole "terminate project" bit and almost wasting your ancestors, but now we've opened a spectacular new business that we know you'll love-the Vok Kitbashing Institute. Just listen to some of our happy clients. TIGERHAWK:"I was just a lowly tiger..or was I a falcon...anyway I was a lonely young man..er woman...ah, I don't know what I am! What..did..they..do...Ummm, don't mind him. Just trust us, the Vok Kitbashing Institute is the right place for you. Call us now at 1-800-Q-SURGE1 or visit us on the web at www.voxkitbashinginstitiute.com and enjoy your new form. As the Vehicons fire, Primal takes in the energy and fires it back at them. PRIMAL:"Haha! Suckers!"Meanwhile, Mirage has cornered BA and RT. RATTRAP & BLACKARACHNIA;"[I am Transformed]"MIRAGE:"Revenge will be mine. The spider for spurning my love, and the rat for stealing her from me." RATTRAP:"Hey, I'll wrap her up and give her to you for your birthday!" BLACKARACHNIA:"Aren't you supposed to defend my honor? Silverbolt would. And now that *you're* my sweet baboo........" RATTRAP:"I am *not* you're sweet baboo!" MIRAGE:"Enough! I have the weapon. I have the power! Nothing in this universe can stop me now! This isn't Earth! There's no last minute rescue here, fools. Yahahahahahahahahaahhhaaaaaaa. Hey that one wasn't so bad." RATTRAP:"Not bad, but still needs work.." BLACKARACHINA:"I've been evil and it's ok for a beginnier, but you need a little more..." MIRAGE:"Ah, what do you know. Now prepare to slag!!!" Mirage aims at our heroes and prepares to fire when a huge boulder lands on top of him. Rattrap and Blackarachnia look up and see Nightscream. NIGHTSCREAM:"Guess I learned something from those old war stories after all."PRIMAL:"The seeds of the future lie buried in the past." RATTRAP:"And Mirage lies under 2 tons. Heh! Well, let's fish him out and get him home." PRIMAL:"No, he's made his choice;leave him be." BLACKARACHINA:"Glad you aren't the recruiter. You realise, of course, that he knows where we live." PRIMAL:"You're right. Rattrap, call the real estate guy again. Nightscream, Blackarachnia, lets pack up. We'll send Cheetor's things to him later. Move out, Maximals!" Rattrap pulls a cell phone out of his storage area while everyone walks off. MIRAGE:"Hello? Evil robot trapped under a rock here!" |